


Rocks Fall (everyone dies?)

by iamanawesometaco



Category: Naruto
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Canon-Typical Violence, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Flash Fic, Gen, Reincarnation, Slow To Update, death sucks, life sucks, obito is naruto, reincarnation sucks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-02-20 10:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13144842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamanawesometaco/pseuds/iamanawesometaco
Summary: Obito is reborn as Naruto. It grows on him.





	1. :1

**Author's Note:**

> This was started on a whim, clearly. Backdated to when I first began writing it. Actually published on 2017-12-25. Enjoy. 
> 
>  
> 
> I always write on my mobile, so I recommend reading this on mobile as it looks much better that way...
> 
>  
> 
>    
> General Additional Warnings: adult language (cursing, sexual innuendo(?)), child abuse (Obito is in total ~17 years old in part 1, but he doesn’t remember at least 2 years, AND none of the abusers know his mental age), references to/discussion of prostitution and establishments to house the prostitutes, what can/should be perceived as a toxic bodily-dysphoric guilt complex, and of course violence and probably angst, since this is _Naruto_. 
> 
> Specific chapter warnings included in chapter notes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: child abuse, angst, implied reference to traumas, the beginnings of a dysphoric guilt complex, emotionally painful memory/flashback
> 
>  
> 
> Please note that since the chapters are short there’s meaning packed into each one, feel free to read into everything as much or little as you like

Rocks, Obito decided, were his worst enemy. First he died by rockfall, and now he was always pelted with them when he was spotted on the streets. 

The worst part was he sort-of understood it. He was the kyuubi container, a jinchuriki, a physical stand-in for what killed people and destroyed property. He was there, they were mad, they took it out on him. Simple. Even an _actual_ child would understand that, and the other kids certainly picked up on it. 

Obito had taken to wearing a medical face mask, not cloth because _he's_ not a copy-cat, and a hat or hood year-round. He looked too much like Minato-sensei and Kushina-neechan to be comfortable in his skin, and the stupid whiskers and blonde hair got him recognized quickly, and then _rocks_. 

Obito really didn't like rocks. 

( _"...haha, that's it, no more doton for Obito-kun! Here, 'bito-kun, try a suiton, this one's my favorite..."_ ) 

Obito _hated_ rocks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Additional Fact #1: Obito was about 13 years old when he died in the rockfall. 
> 
> Fun Fact #1: Originally, this was tentatively titled _Orange Edge_ , but then I got eaten by TV Tropes, make of that what you will ;)


	2. :2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: child abuse, off-the-clock prostitutes, presence of future self-loathing/body dysphoria (thanks reincarnation)

Obito kicked at the ground. Who needed the orphanage? Ha! Not him! He totally wasn't upset at being kicked out or anything! 

...Oh, who was he kidding. He was really attached to this one tree in the yard, he had a little hideout there and everything. Being told he'd be beaten to death if he went back was a pretty final goodbye. 

He dodged into a shadow cast by a red lantern. Madame Akiyama's was deep in the akasen, but Obito was good at sneaking, even in this stupidly bright ( _precious, last reminder, hurts just to look_ ) body. 

Aoyagi answered when he knocked on the back door; good, she liked him plenty. When he gave her the signal (a sequence of ANBU hand signs that they _really_ weren’t supposed to know) she looked like she had seen a ghost. 

"Shizuka! Quick, he—stay there child— _his_ sign was used!" 

Where Aoyagi was tall and fair, willowy, Shizuka was strong-boned and fierce, with an attitude to match. " _He_ is dead! Have a little respect! Not just any common— _dear heavens, Obito?_ " 

"Hi, Auntie Shizu," he greeted, muffled by the mask. For good measure, he performed his sign again, the one that let the workers know who he was, in case he was ever under henge or suspected of being an imposter. It apparently worked just fine when he was reincarnated too. "I'm back from the dead, 'ttebayo! And let me tell you, _reincarnation sucks!_ " 

Auntie Shizuka and Aoyagi laughed, a little hysterically, as they drew him into the house and enfolded him in a hug. Obito hugged them back, feeling all valued and snuggly. 

Then, "MADAME, IMOUTOS, NEECHANS, OBITO IS BACK! GROUP HUG!" 

"ACK! Aoyagi-nee, you're the worst! The real worst! Worst! I CAN'T BREATHE—!"

Yeah. Obito missed them too. 

... _He_ wasn't trying to _suffocate them_ with _boobs_ though! 


	3. :3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings: reference to previous abuse, reference to torture/interrogation, reference to prostitutes, reference to child soldiers, mild dysphoria(? _please let me know_ )

Obito pulled his scarf up a little more. He knew few people could recognize him as—as his new self, what with his hair and brows dyed black and his face covered, but he still worried about his whisker marks getting accidentally revealed. 

Yes, yes, the aunties and neechans had covered them with powder, layered a genjutsu of a whisker-free face but with sharp sharklike teeth, then another genjutsu of a plain face with plain teeth over that linked to his scarf... Yes. They were thorough. The chances of being recognized were so small as to be infinitesimal. 

Still, he could fret quietly. It was his first day at the Shinobi Academy, and if he was going to be found out, it would be here. Well, he could be discovered at any time, but. _His point was_ , he was allowed to worry. Plus he was six in body, and none of the Aunties could come and drop him off, and— 

"Yamamoto Obito?" 

"Present," he said sharply, raising a ( _tiny, too small_ ) hand. It was a little embarrassing to be named Yamamoto, since it basically announced he was an orphan. Yamamoto was the most common placeholder name for orphaned infants, most of whom were seduction mission accidents or mistakes from the various pleasure houses. He lived with the Aunties, but that didn't mean they had last names he could take. Uchiha was certainly off the table. 

So, Yamamoto. 

At least he was called Obito. Naruto just... didn't fit him. The new name made him feel like even more of an imposter than usual. 

( _Like the body snatching scum he was._ ) 

He was glad his registered name was Obito. Less change. More distance from the orphanage and the people and their rocks. 

(Rocks, rocks, why did it always come down to rocks? The first time wasn’t personal ( _—or maybe it was, remember the old man—_ ) but the times after that were, and they _hurt_ , they hurt _so much worse_.)

He would hate to be the Yamanaka doing his interrogation. But he wasn’t going to get caught, he _wasn’t_ , and there was no reason to bring in a Yamanaka if he was, so he was good. He was good. 

The teacher began the standard peacetime Academy introduction and Obito closed his eyes. This... was going to be a long six years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Obito is 6 here, and an 'unspecified' amount of time has passed since parts 1 & 2, but you can figure out from context clues and author's notes that Obito was about 4 years old in part 1 and 4 and a half or 5 in part 2.  
> Also, part 4 is about 60% done? I'm not sure, it's a bit longer and more angsty than the others.
> 
>  
> 
> [crawls out of trash heap]  
> Merry Christmas and happy less-commercialized holidays, enjoy this thing if you want to I guess  
> [crawls back into trash]


	4. :4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not much real plot or character development here, just getting through a chunk of necessaryish stuff and setting up for the next segments. it seems like part 5 is where things start moving, so look forward to that!  
> shorter chapters are so much easier to bang out, this is a lightning-fast update for me. I may just end up condensing 1-3 or 1-4 into one chapter, because things are looking like they'll hit at least 1k words starting with part 5 (already at 600+ words)  
> meanwhile, can you spot the less-obvious deviations from canon yet?
> 
> Chapter Warnings: curse words

The Academy in peacetime was far less educational than in wartime, Obito was disappointed to find. Six years and they covered less curriculum than they did in two years, back in his day. It was less intensive, focused less on quality, whereas during wartime both quality and quantity were vital. If you failed out during wartime, you were _abysmal_. A waste of space. Unteachable. Not even worthy of being cannon fodder. For all his failings, Obito had only ranked last because he was loud, carefree, and a bad example with no talent for bookwork. 

Last time around he had been dead last because of his lack in the graded skills—this time because he just didn’t care. He trained on his own time, studied politics and recent geography during the indoor classes, and slept and/or shlepped his way through the rest of the time. Plus, if they still followed that _rookie of the year_ \+ _kunoichi of the year_ \+ _dead last_ = _team seven_ method, he would get placed with the two best students. Their team would be completely unbalanced, but six years of (mostly) useless Academy lessons (there were a few good innovations here and there) meant Obito was kind of dulled to other people anyway. The ones that would really matter were his genin teammates, hopefully. Once he knew who they were, _then_ he could put effort into them.

Which sounded horrible, yeah, but Obito had seen too many of his precious comrades die. And yeah, to be fair, _war_. But his heart couldn’t quite take it anymore. He was far more emotionally brittle than he would have liked to admit. He knew he’d have to address that eventually...

...but the middle of his graduation exam wasn’t the time or place for it. 

On command, he called up an illusionary henge, performed kawarimi, and made an illusionary bunshin, announcing the name and forming handsigns for each even though the dearth of subterfuge utterly fucking _grated_. Granted, not overpowering the bunshin while using vocal and physical aides was a fair bit of a challenge, as was keeping the henge strictly illusionary, and resisting the temptation to kawarimi with another person or with a log from across Konoha. Obito powered through. Er, _finessed_ his way though. 

He was too old for this. He wanted to learn advanced techniques! Stupid reincarnation. This was all such a waste of his time. 

...alright, so maybe it was interesting to observe his classmates, because that many clan heirs in one year couldn’t be a coincidence. And the two teachers were pretty cool. Whatever, that didn’t mean he was attached to anyone, or anything like that!

Obito accepted the hitai-ate from Iruka-sensei and went to go meet the Aunties for lunch, smiling a little under his scarf. Instead of going for the traditional forehead protection, he tied the hitai-ate around his throat, under the scarf, making sure it fit snugly but not too snugly and that the knot was tucked under, so the metal protected the soft front of his neck without the fabric band becoming a dangerous grabbing point. He already wore a mesh turtleneck-bodysuit-thing but it couldn’t hurt to be thorough. Plus, he kind of wanted to get goggles as a graduation gift to himself, and a forehead hitai-ate just got in the way of that. 

Some goggles even came with _seals_ on them. He couldn’t _wait_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a few deviations: no Multiple Shadow Clone Jutsu. no 'Naruto found out he's the kyuubi jinchuriki' scene (since no one even knows where Naruto is). Mizuki isn't outed as a traitor (is he even a traitor in this au?!?!). tell me the ones you think of!  
> this chapter originally had a panic attack in it. I'm so glad I cut that segment because it was pulling this train into grimdark depressing angst territory. instead you got tsundere Obito who totally doesn't care about any of his classmates or teachers or anything!!!  
> I am Cackling imagining Obito's reaction to getting Bakashi as a teacher. this is it. I've been caught. the entire reason I wrote this fic: to cause More Pain and More Angst. (that, and *SPOILERS*.)


	5. cat's cradle with razor wire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 5 is here, and it has a name!! a very dramatic name. rejoice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally going to be posted at the same time/in the same chapter as part 6, because they flow into each other really well, but part six turned into,,, a monster. So no. Also as it turned out, part 6 is the one where plot starts _really_ moving, but part 5 is faster-paced too.  
>  (Fun Fact: Part 5 is my favorite part so far. Part 6..... me no likey. Too big. Tries to do too much at once. Needs line-by-line rewriting.)  
> Part 5 is the first part I'm willing to call a chapter, because it's actually a size I can be boastful about. That's why it has a name! (pt 6 is... 2k+ but it don't count bc it's making me mad >:( bad pt6!!!)
> 
> PSA: I just (yesterday) posted a bleach fanfic titled "Rocks Fall" I am so sorry please don't get confused OTZ
> 
> Chapter Warnings: cursing. mentions of the akasen ladies. mentions of the uchiha massacre and dead uchiha. Obito's death hitting him hard, grieving? Obito being a hypocrite?

“Team Seven,” Iruka-sensei said, making Obito tune in and stop playing Cat’s Cradle with razor wire, “is Uchiha Sasuke,”

Girls sat on the edges of their seats.

“Haruno Sakura,”

Sakura punched the air. “YES!”

“NOOO!” screamed about half the remaining girls.

“And,” the teacher raised his voice above the ruckus, “Yamamoto Obito.”

Obito saw Sakura’s head turning as if on a swivel. “...who?”

“Rude,” he mumbled to himself, catching a tiny nod of agreement from Aburame Shino beside him. (Not that he had any room to talk, barely knowing the names of his classmates too. At least _he_ never _vocalized_ it! Have some tact!) Obito arrived a little later than most and his only choice was beside either Aburame or Inuzuka, the extra seats farther away having been marked off-limits with sticky notes in Iruka-sensei’s handwriting. Obito picked the quieter one.

Still, when Sakura’s eyes raked over him, he waved just a tiny bit at her. She might not have seen it though.

Granted, he did look different from normal; he was wearing a new, better outfit he’d been saving up for, and both a gas mask/rebreather hybrid over his mouth and nose and his hitai-ate were hidden by the usual high scarf, with seal-ified goggles resting on the top of his head. He did some of the seals himself, even, in the kind of chakra-blood-ink that goes transparent once set. You didn’t hang around two sealing masters for years without picking things up.

Enhanced vision was fucking _wicked_ , by the way. ( ~~ _—kind of like the Sharingan, for the five seconds he had had it—_~~ )

Team Ten turned out to be Ino-Shika-Cho, and Team Twelve was Hyuuga, Aburame, Inuzuka. The other teams were made of purely civilian children. Statistically, those were the ones that never made jounin.

(Obito really shouldn’t dismiss them, since for all appearances _he_ was one.)

Mikoto-obasama’s second son seemed to recognize that too, seeing as he was glaring at both of his teammates.

That still hurt. Obito had been— in the past life— back then— they’d all been eagerly awaiting the birth of Fugaku-sama’s second child. If it was a boy, Mikoto had told Obito, they were going to name him Sasuke, and if it was a girl, Mito.

Obito could have been the babysitter.

He’d died before the baby was even born.

That kind of hurt, it. It didn’t go away. It just. Kind of. It. It.—

—It sat there, waiting for him to feel pretty okay again. Then it. Attacked. Out of, nowhere usually. Mostly. Shredding up his chest.

He’d gotten... not used to it, but. It wasn’t unexpected anymore, and he’d figured out how to deal with it, particularly in the wake of the Uchiha Massacre. Thankfully none of the main clan knew about the Uchiha who lived at Madame Akiyama’s, or Itachi could have gone after them too, but being exiled from the clan meant being marked as dead, then ‘posthumously’ made excommunicate and anathema. Itachi was only thirteen when he killed the clan so he wouldn’t yet have learnt that; Obito only knew them by a stroke of strange luck.

Still, thinking of Itachi hurt, too. It hurt differently, maybe, but was no less painful. Sasuke, he only knew as potential. Itachi, he had _actually_ _known_ , as much as a teenager can know a genius toddler.

Losing Obaachan and Mikoto-obasama and all the dozens of cousins he grew up with (little Shisui! Izumi-chan! Arata-nii!) was what _really_ hurt, though.

He lost them before they died, with his own death. Losing them again still, despite it all, _hurt_.

And now little Sasuke was glaring at him. Not that he was _little_ , exactly, he was a year younger than Obito had been when he died, but still so immature. Peacetime standards. Children didn’t grow up as fast, which was _good_ , of course, but it was also _super_ _annoying_ if (when?) you were reincarnated. He was allowed to be annoyed by good things, okay? His feelings had nothing to do with the objective goodness of Real Childhoods for the Real Children.

“FOREHEAD!” the Yamanaka screamed as she exited with her new team. “I’LL BECOME THE PRETTIEST KUNOICHI AND WIN SASUKE-KUN’S HEART! JUST YOU WATCH!”

“IN YOUR DREAMS, INO-PIG!” his new teammate screeched back.

Obito slowly bent over and pressed his head to the desk. Then, nose still pressed to the wood, he slid his goggles down over his eyes and activated the chakra vision. Through the desk, he watched himself swirl chakra around the tenketsu of his knees. It was better than dwelling on the utter shallowness of his new teammates (and himself), and that he was once more on Team Seven.

Team Seven.

Obito just hoped this one wouldn’t be doomed too.

...Speaking of, who was their sensei? He lifted his head to see that all the other teams had been collected already. Was their teacher late? Was there a bureaucracy fuckup? What was going on?

Iruka-sensei was even repeatedly checking the classroom clock and frowning in concern. It had been thirty minutes since teams were announced, and no other jounin had shown up.

Weird. And... ominous, Obito decided. It didn’t bode well for the team, if their sensei couldn’t even be assed to show up on time.

(One might say there was a meeting, or a mission, or an unavoidable accident—but potential jounin sensei were given a week of leave preceding team assignments, and word of an accident or even an excuse would have reached the Academy by now. No. Their sensei was just _late._ )

Finally, Iruka-sensei stood up, bag under his arm. “I have a meeting to go to,” he said apologetically. “You three’ll be okay here until your sensei shows up. Use the time to get to know each other; they shouldn’t be more than another half-hour late. Congratulations again on graduating!”

“Thank you, Iruka-sensei,” they chorused, some (Sakura) more enthusiastically than others (Sasuke), and the man made his exit.

It was perfectly silent for like, a solid three minutes. Sakura may even have been holding her breath. Wow.

Obito sighed. He was going to have to be the mature one? Well, he supposed he could manage, as long as the multiverse didn’t come crashing down upon his shoulders for it. “So what do you guys like to do?”

Sakura finally took a breath, turning to look back, up, and sideways at him. “Huh?”

“What do you like to do,” Obito enunciated. There was a tier of desks between them and the new mask was muffling his voice even more than his scarf usually did, so he made sure to speak extra-extra-clearly. “You know, for fun?”

“W-well... hey, is it even any of your business?”

Obito frowned. “We’re teammates. That means getting to know each other. I’m trying to get to know you. Hobbies, favorite games, anything, really. Uchiha-san too.”

He’d... half lost her attention at that. She was back to watching Sasuke and pretending she wasn’t. “Um, you go first?”

At least she realized this kind of thing was a two-way street. Three-way street? How would that even work? Obito was clearly terrible at metaphors. The universe should never let him use them again. “I like training, with chakra, mostly. Developing new techniques and stuff. But music is fun too.” Auditory genjutsu, fuck yeah! And classical music was relaxing, even when trying to meditate.

“...Training,” Sasuke said more than asked, and quietly.

It was annoying, talking at them from two tiers up. Obito stood, planted one hand on the desk, vaulted neatly over—

—and, with a touch of chakra to his fingertips, sent himself soaring over the tiers, and with the air resistance from grasping trails of chakra, all but floated down to gently land on the floor before them.

“Yes,” Obito said, pushing his goggles back up on his forehead. His eyes crinkled into a smile. “Training.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for Eleanora (guest): did you see me throw in a hint about the akasen ladies :DDD did you see?!?!?! THE AKASEN LADIES ARE A HUGE FUKKIN PLOT POINT!!! I LOVE THEM CAN U TELL!!!!!
> 
> End Notes Warning: miscarriage, sad things :'(  
> The baby Obito talks about in isn’t actually Sasuke. Mikoto miscarried less than a month after the rockfall (it was a girl, the name Mito is on her headstone). The rockfall happened sometime during the summer, July-ish; Sasuke was conceived (unless he was a preemie) sometime during the following October. If Obito thought more closely about the dates he would know this. Part of it is subconscious denial, but he also just plain hasn’t thought about it.  
> (Sasuke’s birthday is July 23rd, there’s no way Mikoto was pregnant with him for more than 15 months (month 3 being when they would have started telling people))


	6. shinobi soap is hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter: Obito espouses the magic of friendship and teamwork; Sasuke and Sakura come out of their shells a bit; mention of the existence of icky people and how Team 7 WILL NOT BE GOING THERE, and childish antics because my babies deserve it. 
> 
> Next chapter: Kakashi. _(Finally,_ that tardy jerk.)
> 
> Happy Holidays if you celebrate!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER AT LAST at least it was before April, yeah? This one fought me, _so much exposition_ and I had to cut/rework a loooot before it was deemed fit for posting. But it's finally here!! (God only knows what's up with the chapter title, I remembered it needed one 10 seconds after posting and panicked lmao)
> 
>    
> Shoutouts to: Bochord of Leaspell (EquinePianist) ! Thank you so much for throwing headcanon back and forth with me in the comments, that was so much fun! Also, shoutouts to literally every other one of my readers, and double thanks to the commenters! Some of them inspired some really really wicked meta!!! Long ones readable [here(1)](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/151208337), [here(2)](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/154429455), short ones [here(3)](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/143488623), [here(4)](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/143339616), [here(5)](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/143329437).  
> ...Technically doesn't count as spoilers! Right? ~~I'm so bad with spoiling my fics guys I'm so sorry~~
> 
> Since I hand out meta on a platter anyway, Comments-Meta Requests are being accepted! Like, officially. I feel less guilty when it's official. I love to talk meta and headcanon _tell me all of it_
> 
>  
> 
>  **Chapter warnings:** mentions of pedophiles and child prostitution (thanks, child-ninja world. I felt it needed to be addressed and I assure you this fic will _never_ go in that direction), aand reference to Obito living in the red-light district.

Sasuke stood up. “What was that?” Beyond him, Sakura gaped. Not for long, Obito was sure; she was smart, if naive.

“I made it up,” was his explanation, which naturally explained almost nothing. “You need really _really_ excellent chakra control or you’ll explode either the desk or your hand. Like, upper-tier medic-level chakra control.”

Sakura found her voice. “You’ve been experimenting with that? It sounds like it could be lethal. You didn’t get hurt, did you?” She looked rather like she was ready to lunge for his hands to check for herself.

Obito shook his head. “Not more than sprained joints and lots of dislocated bones. I blew up a _ton_ of trees though. If I felt it start to go wrong, I made sure it went wrong _outside_ my body. But most of the things we learn in school are lethal anyway, and a bunch of my aunts have good chakra control and stuff so they helped.” Then, to make sure they didn’t copy him: “It’s important to always experiment with a buddy, y’know. Especially ones with medical experience.”

Sasuke frowned, but agreed that was a pretty good idea. Well, he just went “Hn” but Obito was raised by Uchiha, he knew what it meant even if he couldn’t quite read all the microexpressions that conveyed the sentiment anymore. Stupid weak eyes, everything was so much less clear now. The sharingan was the only doujutsu that could pick up that level of detail while inactivated, and other doujutsu users like the Hyuuga never knew what to look for.

Sakura latched onto the part he’d hoped they’d skim over. “Your aunts have medical experience? Do they work at the hospital?”

He _definitely_ didn’t fidget, but he did hop up to sit on the desk next to them. “Not... no. It’s a necessity. I, uh, live in the bad part of town... _Yamamoto,_ y’know? So it’s practical to know.”

“Yamamoto... like the orphanage?” Sakura inquired. If he really was an orphan he’d have clocked her a good one for the insensitivity, right upside the head.

Wait, he _was_ an orphan. Twice over.

He reached out and clocked her a good one, right upside the head. Gently, gently, she didn’t know how to reinforce her body with chakra yet. “Have some tact, yeesh. But no, not the orphanage. Think the _other_ bad part of town where kids are named Yamamoto.”

“Eep!” _Red-light district. Brothels._ He could almost see the realization hitting her, right where his open hand had.

“Yeah,” he agreed, faking nonchalance. “We get orphans and runaways and drop-offs and accidents. God knows who my parents were.” He swallowed thickly around the half-truth. “I kind of always thought I’d end up a raven, but since Uchiha-san’s in our team, we’re probably going to be more of a genjutsu-centric team. Ninjutsu, maybe.” He didn’t mention that her _‘exotic’_ looks would have only added to his assumption about the fate of his team, if not for the fact that the Last Uchiha would never end up on a seduction-based team. The council wouldn’t stand for it. Even if, purely technically speaking, Uchiha were excellent for seduction missions despite their distinctive looks.

Stars, but he hated having to think of children in those terms. It was true, too true even, but _still._ In wartime people looked to children for _power_ before anything else. Yeah, there were sickos to target, but during war it was more efficient to just get an assembly-line assassin in than a child seduction specialist that needed extra training.

“They wouldn’t arrange _genin_ teams based on... _that,_ would they?” Sakura wrung her hands. Obito pitied her. He _wished_ she was right.

He shrugged at her. “My looks aren’t widespread knowledge, so it was probably safer not to risk me being defective. But yeah, I’m pretty sure team arrangements are still Third-War-standard, so they definitely make specialized teams this early. In peace, it just means they can afford the time and resources to train us specially. And some people out there are _sick._ So. Yeah.”

“No one’s seen your face?” Sasuke asked. Good, the kid was opening up. Aaand he’d spotted one of Obito’s microexpressions and extrapolated from there, straight into the truth. Damn.

“Nope. I mean, I’m sure I look like my parents, but they could be, I don’t know, some foreign diplomat or something. That would be bad.” He tugged at his scarf. “So I keep my face covered. Even I haven’t seen my face in years. It’s probably freaky-looking.”

Sakura sat next to him on the desk, fingers twitching like she wanted to rip his scarf off. _Jokes on her, I’m wearing a mask today too~!_ “How do you eat?”

Sasuke looked interested too.

Obito laughed, only a little bitterly. “Talent. And practice. And going hungry when I fail—so, incentive.” He tilted his head to look at Sakura, stifling a wicked smirk. “How about you guys?”

“What about us?” Sasuke grumbled, retreating. He probably spotted a mischief tell.

“How do you go around all day with bare faces? That’s like being naked, you know!” He cackled. “It’s like everyone in the world is a nudist except me! It’s so weird!”

Sakura squawked, then burst out laughing too. “We’re not weird! You’re the one covering too much!”

“That’s exactly what a nudist would say!”

“Shut up, shut up, oh my god, shut up!” Sakura jostled him, shaking uncontrollably with laughter and nearly falling off the desk. “Shuuuut uuuuup!”

“Nudists, nudists, nudists, nu—mmph!“ He waited for the relief to wash over her face, then at the first sign of her confusion at the feel of the gas mask under his scarf, belted out _“NUDISTS!”_

Sakura _screamed._

“Pff.”

Sakura whipped around to stare at Sasuke, and Obito turned too. He had just _laughed._ Uchiha Sasuke, famed for being a brooding loner, was snickering quietly into his hands at their antics.

 _So there_ is _a preteen boy in there, under all the angst._

Eye-scrunching cheerfully in Sasuke’s direction, he yelled “NUDISTS!” and gesticulated wildly, almost hitting Sakura. “I’ve brought enlightenment to a few of the naked peoples! One is even trying to preserve his modesty! Sakura, you should try to preserve your modesty as well!”

Shoulders shaking, she raised her hands to cup her mouth and nose. “Am I covered properly, oh knowledgeable one?” She managed through the giggles.

 _So there_ is _a preteen girl under that fangirl act._

“You could do better, but I am glad you’ve seen the light.” Obito nodded sagely. “I’m always happy to help my errant nudist teammates find the path to being clothed.”

“T-thank you, oh w- _wise_ one,” Sakura managed to say. “You have sh-sh-shown me the way!”

“Now that you two have been shown the way,” he announced, eyeing the way Sasuke was still covering his mouth while pretending he wasn’t, he used chakra strings to grab his backpack from the top tier, unzipping it midair and withdrawing his spare scarf and emergency cloth mask before landing the open bag in the chair next to him and floating the scarf to Sasuke and the mask to Sakura. “It would be most irresponsible of me to leave you, tormented, naked and aware of your nakedness. Please accept these offerings of clothes, to cover yourselves temporarily.”

There was a kind of gravity to his words. It felt awfully vulnerable, like a bearing of his inner self. Obito didn’t like it.

When Sakura and Sasuke grabbed the floating equipment at the same time, looking to him for instruction, his heart felt like it was trying to both suffocate him and boil him alive. He was glad his mask hid telltale blushing.

“Uchiha-san, that just winds around your face like a regular scarf. I have tape if you need it. The ends can tuck into your shirt and be less of a grabbing hazard. And Haruno-san,” he turned to face her, hooking fingers into the extremely elastic mask to demonstrate, “this is really stretchy without being constricting or loose, so you can just bunch it up and pull it over your head, there’s stick points with bits of rubber to help it stay up if you need that. There, tuck the ends into your shirt, like that.”

“Do you use tape? It can’t be good for your skin,” Sakura asked, muffled, then looked surprised and repeated herself with better projection.

Obito shook his head and kicked his feet a little. “Both are meant to be held up with chakra, but that takes really good control. Usually with chakra _strings,_ actually, which is what I used to grab my bag, but I just use the chakra like glue since it’s directly touching my skin and not, like, a festival mask. _Don’t_ try, it’ll get stuck to your face and you’ll need a hospital trip to have it removed. Not that I know from experience or anything.” Nope. Nope he was not going to tell them about the time Aoyagi-nee had to take him to the hospital to have a yokai mask pried off his face. It left scars over his face tenketsu for a _year._ No way. They didn’t need to know.

Sakura squinted at him. “...Like that time you came to class for a whole week holding a frying pan and refused to let go for anything.”

“Nuh-uh!” he denied on instinct. “Um. Actually...”

“Ha!”

Sasuke snickered again, fiddling with the scarf to make it stop drooping over his nose.

“Hmph. Wait, you remember that?”

Sakura looked surprised. “Huh? Yeah, you were holding a _frying pan_ for a _week straight._ Sensei gave you lunch detention.”

He gave her a sidelong glance, eyes flickering away quickly. “...but you didn’t even know my name during team announcements.”

Another glance showed her to be horrorstricken. “Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t really... I can’t believe I forgot about that! I’m sorry! I couldn’t place the name to the face, sensei never calls on you for anything, ever. It, um, made sense once I saw you, but... not before that. Sorry, Yamamoto-san. Um. Actually, would _-kun_ be okay? Or _Obito-san?”_

Obito burrowed into his scarf. “...yeah, those are good. I, uh. Using _-kun_ is better, Haruno... _-chan?”_

 _“Haruno-chan_ is fine. Or, um... _Sakura-san_ is fine too.”

“That’s good,” he said quietly, shuffling his scarf up to around his ears. “Oh, uh, Uchiha-san, do you want us to use _-kun_ too? Or is _-san_ better?”

Damn, giving him the scarf was a bad idea. This way, Obito missed at least _seventy percent_ of the microexpressions blatant enough for his inferior eyesight to catch, not even including the thousands he was already unable to see.

Sasuke eventually told them, lowly and with some uncertainty, “Keep with _-san_ for now, please. _Sasuke-san_ is... _alright,_ though.” He was definitely pretty uncomfortable with it, which was the opposite of Obito’s goal. Sasuke and Sakura both had shit teamwork skills, so bonding and comfort was the most important thing right now.

“I think I’ll save _Sasuke-san_ for later,” Obito decided aloud. “Tomorrow, I think, or the day after.”

“I’ll...” Sakura seemed to gather herself, throwing her shoulders back and lifting her chin. “I’ll do the same then, U-Uchiha-san.”

Sasuke’s look of profound relief was obvious even with the scarf. It made Sakura wilt just a little, but she seemed to quickly reaffirm something within herself, and sat up all the straighter for it.

How interesting.

“Now when our sensei comes, I can call them late _and_ a nudist,” Obito said decisively, taking them off that topic to lighten the mood. “Only an asshole would be this late, so they deserve what they get.”

“...you really shouldn’t call jounin lazy assholes, Yamamoto-kun,” Sakura pointed out, following up with a reasonable “especially if they’re the one teaching us.”

He conceded. “Fair point. But the nudist thing is now an inside joke between the genin of Team Seven, so I’m still gonna call ‘em a nudist. We can explain later—if we like them.”

“Inside jokes!” Sakura cried and punched the air. “Shannaro!”

“...Hn.” But it was a _hn_ of approval.

“Anyway... I told you guys my hobby. What about yours?” He rested his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands.

“I train too,” Sasuke revealed.

“Yeah, but is that the only thing you do? What about other fun? Do you think training is fun?”

The skin around Sasuke’s eyes tightened.

“It’s totally cool if you like training, you know?” Obito babbled, frantically backpedaling before he could undo all of Sasuke’s defrosting with one dumb question. “I think just rote practicing ninjutsu is super boring, like with taijutsu. Not genjutsu because I love genjutsu but if I had to do it formulaically eighteen times a day for training, I wouldn’t like it either. But I love doing advanced chakra control exercises because I think they’re cool and useful. I like making up jutsu because I like surprising people. I like music because, duh, auditory genjutsu, but also because I, for no apparent reason, happen to love music. They coincide with training, and that just makes them twice as appealing to me. I don’t _have_ to do any of them.”

“You missed bukijutsu,” Sasuke pointed out, eyes still tight. Without his visible features changing, he admitted, “I like practicing shurikenjutsu tricks. They’re too flashy to be practical but they’re... cool. And good for dexterity. ...and I like swords.“

 _Seventy percent off_ in his predictions. That was a thoughtful tightness, and the original words were just stalling. Not reluctance or recalcitrance or tightly-controlled anger. Dammit.

That tiny new crease was definitely laughter at Obito’s expense.

“Neat!” He tried to pretend he wasn’t embarrassed, glad his mask and hair covered anything that could blush. “Show some to me, _us,_ sometime?” Obito requested, fidgeting with the neck of his scarf.

(Being the social bubbly one was so much easier than being the mature one. It softened the blow to his _( ~~former~~ )_ rap as the immature, childish one.)

“Alright.” The slight crinkling around the eyes betrayed his happiness. That was an _obvious_ tell.

Sakura picked up where he left off, so Obito didn’t have to guide the conversation as much anymore. Good. That meant they were getting more comfortable, and besides, driving small talk and giving exposition got _exhausting._ He made it a point to turn more so his body was angled more towards her, for subconscious encouragement. “I like reading, and, um, styling hair.” She seemed to be bracing herself for something. “I’ve been trying to find good scentless toiletries but the really actually scentless ones are harsh and the civilian ones aren’t actually scentless. So I’ve been doing little trials and... and I want to try making my own soaps.”

That was actually _fascinating._ Shinobi soaps were all-purpose-in-one-bar and tended to be strong enough to strip paint, three or four layers of skin, and all the moisture from your hair. Getting it in your eyes necessitated an immediate trip to the hospital. A soap that was gentler but still kept to the same scentless standard (aka so scentless it literally reduced your own natural scent) would be a massive hit. Obito himself would shell out major ryo for something like that.

“That’s amazing,” he told her, and Sasuke nodded along, emphatically for him. Uchiha had genetically sensitive skin and eyes, so shinobi soap was _hell._ “If you need someone to test it, or help, or anything, let me know. I will _be there._ That’s a super cool hobby to have—I don’t know anyone else who makes soap, but it sounds really neat.”

“It’s not, um, weird?”

He tilted his head, taking care to look innocently puzzled in a way that wouldn’t embarrass her. “Not at all? A little uncommon, maybe, but not weird. Seems kind of like a scaled up version of those make-your-own kits, with the bath salts and lip balm.” ...He hastened to make it sound less like he’d bought them. Just because he _had_ didn’t mean he needed to _admit_ it! “I just saw some in store windows, haha! Haha... ha...”

Sakura covered her mouth even over the mask, laughing silently at his verbal stumbling. Sasuke was laughing in his own way; it was all in the eyes.

He would’ve been more upset if he didn’t know they were laughing at his lame cover-up, and not the activity itself. He was exposed to _quite enough_ toxic masculinity and unreasonable gender norms, thanks to the House’s civilian patrons.

With a pout, Obito crossed his arms. “...So what if I like them! They’re cool. And what you’re tryin’a do with the soap sounds even cooler.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s cool,” Obito said assertively. “We’re teammates now so if anyone says anything mean you have to tell me and I have to punch them for you.”

“She can punch them herself,” Sasuke grunted. Was that offense on Sakura’s behalf? Probably not. Mikoto-obasama had been a ninja, it may just have been general offense.

“Well, _duh."_  Sakura was turning steadily pinker in the ears as the two spoke about her. “But sometimes it’s nice not to _have_ to fight for yourself. It’s what good teammates are for.”

“...Teammates make you weak,” Sasuke said after a while, sounding vaguely like he was quoting someone.

“No, the only one who can make you weak is yourself,” Obito disagreed. “Good teammates watch your back, and you watch theirs, and it means you can all focus more on what you need to. If they’re not as strong, you work together to make up for it. Trust is worth more than rogue strength, y’know.” At least, that was how it had worked with—with the old Team Seven. Kakashi-teme had always been stronger than him and Rin-chan, probably always would be, but under Minato-sensei they’d all banded together really well anyway. Rin had learned to heal and Obito worked on traps, and with Kakashi as the main offensive strength (aside from Minato-sensei, who acted only as support when he could get away with it) they’d been _really really good._ They were the monster team of their generation, while they’d lasted.

Sakura and Sasuke startled and stared at him.

It’d be nice if the same could eventually be said of this Team Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask for something to be put in my fic or answered in a comment, and there is a high likelihood you will receive!  
>  ~~(Please ask me about the Akasen Ladies)~~ ~~(They were only supposed to be minor OCs)~~ ~~(Whoops my fingers slipped and gave them more than just peripheral relevance to the plot)~~ ~~(But they don't come in for a little while now and I'm dying to talk about them)~~
> 
> I'm so looking forward to writing about ~~that lazy asshole~~ Kakashi, you don't even know, but he's being _so freaking difficult ohmygoddd_  
> ...Next chapter may be a while.
> 
> Obito saying "y'know" is NOT the same as "dattebayo". He couldn't completely get rid of the verbal tic so he substituted it for another one.
> 
> Also, not-so-fun fact, a raven is a male spy who works in seduction. The female version is a swallow.  
> Slightly more fun of a fact, I originally had Obito say he expected to go into wetworks! Um. I'm glad I rechecked the meaning, lol, wetworks is more Mitarashi Anko's thing.
> 
> I hope the Sakura and Sasuke development came through!  
> RFed!Sakura is more likely to follow along with Obito's lead, since he shares several of her interests and hasn't antagonized her like canon!Naruto; however no Naruto at all means no one to vent her socially-inappropriate rage on. RFed!Sasuke is basically canon!Sasuke pre-Orochimaru, just with a few differences: he can read facial microexpressions, which mean he can spot tells for lying and emotion and a million other things that no one else can pick up on, because of the Sharingan's naturally superior eyesight even in its dormant/unawakened state; and he's never been antagonized by Naruto, or anyone similar, ever. He's been able to focus on school and training more than in canon where (headcanon) his one-sided rivalry with Naruto majorly stressed him out. The more skilled he gets and the less attention he draws, the more he relaxes.  
> So basically Sasuke is more chill, while Sakura is more insecure and repressed. This leads to them making stronger connections with Obito and, tentatively, each other.

**Author's Note:**

> NOTES (to be updated as they are written):  
> -original WIP title was Orange Edge  
> -(but I couldn’t help myself)  
> -Minato is a fucking obvi sore spot  
> -Imagine how Obito!Naruto is gonna react to having Kakashi as a sensei  
> -MWAHAHAHA


End file.
